Second Chance in Sideways World
by Duck Life
Summary: Bella's life with Edward takes a flabbergasting twist when she wakes up one morning with a different life. As the mystery unravels, she meets a mysterious ex-Volturi vampire with an odd friendship with Alice Cullen who may hold the key... Character Death.
1. Chapter 1

I smiled as I woke up, rolling over in bed and looking at Edward, my boyfriend of five years, who was staring up at the dust motes swirling in the sunlight. It was the first morning I'd been able to sleep in since as long as I could remember. I was finally done with college, and free to live out the rest of my life. I smiled a little wider, thinking of a private joke- because technically I wouldn't by _living _out the rest of my life. At least, not as a human.

Edward's and my deal was that he would turn me into a vampire as soon as I graduated college. I'd decided that I had a week after this morning to get all my affairs in order before I faked my death and began my life as a vampire. I really felt I was ready, now that I'd been to college. Those four years had given me time to grow up, to learn some things. I felt more ready than ever to give up my human life and begin a new one with the love of my life.

Edward, noticing I was awake turned to smile at me. "Good morning," he said warmly. I inched closer and bent up to kiss him. His cool hands wrapped around my elbows, and I grinned, breaking the kiss. His cool lips had officially woken me up, and I was starving.

The day passed without event- most days did when you were finally done with education- and before I knew it I was snuggled under the covers with Edward again. "Goodnight, Bella," he whispered in his musical voice.

"Goodnight, Edward," I replied, sleepily, pressing my forehead against his cold bare chest. With his arms circled around me, and his face buried in my hair, I quickly drifted off to sleep.

The next morning I awoke to a blindingly bright sunbeam glaring in my face. After blinking several times to adjust my eyes, I turned to see that the bed was empty beside me. I frowned- that was rare. It was pretty late, though-perhaps Edward was making breakfast. I stretched and rolled out of bed. As soon as my feet hit the floor, a shiver passed through me. I felt like something was- _wrong_. Maybe it was just déjà vu, but everything in the room- the position of the furniture, the arrangement of the books, the way the covers were twisted just slightly different, even the stunningly bright sun seemed unusual. I shook the odd feeling and padded off toward the kitchen, but Edward wasn't there, either. He wouldn't have left the house, would he?

Frowning, I stepped into the living room just as the phone rang. I sprinted to get it, because for some reason the phone only ever rang once before it went to the answering machine. Curiously, though, it had rung thrice before I reached it and never went to the answering machine. Still frowning, baffled, I answered it.

"Isabella Swan?"

"I haven't heard you use that name in a while," came Edward's smooth voice.

"Hi, Edward," I replied with relief. "Yeah, I've kind of been phasing out Bella. It's a little young, you know?"

"That's not what I was talking about," he said, and for some odd reason I could hear some deep hurt in his words. "I meant Black. You usually answer the phone 'Isabella Black.' I was just wondering when you went back to-"

I heard nothing else. I had dropped the phone.


	2. Chapter 2

After a moment, I fiercely told myself that he was playing a cruel prank on me. Though that didn't explain the general _oddness _of that morning… I snatched the phone up again before I could poke holes in my resolve.

"Bella?" Edward was asking. "What happened?"

"Sorry, I- I dropped the phone," I said.

"Always the klutz," he joked. Again I could hear the hurt in his voice. "Anyway, I just wanted to let you know that I'm bringing Simon over."

"Simon?" I asked confused.

"Yes," he said slowly. "Your son. I'm bringing him over."

"My son?" I yelped.

"Yeah, Bella," he said, sounding strange. "Have you been drinking?"

"No," I answered quickly. _At least, I don't think I have… _With a growing sense of fear, I frantically searched the kitchen while gripping the phone between my shoulder and ear. I couldn't find a trace of alcohol in the house, but the dishes seemed different than I remembered. Something very weird was going on, and an elaborate prank involving inventing a son and pretending I was married to Jacob Black did not seem like something Edward would do.

"Edward," I said, interrupting him midway through a speech about how if I was drunk he would take Simon off my hands. "I'm not drunk. It's just… does it sound weird if I say I don't know who Simon is?"

"Bella," he said strongly, sounding hurt and angry, "don't joke. Don't try to escape this. He's been waiting to see you all week."

"Right! Simon!" I replied, sounding strained. "Oh, you know how I can't think straight until I have my coffee. Oh, of course I know who Simon is! I'm so excited to see him!" Whatever was going on, it was probably best to just play along until I had all the details.

"Are you sure?" he said suspiciously.

"Totally!" I false-laughed. "I love my son. Simon, Simon, Simon. I can't wait 'til he gets here."

He still thought I was lying- about not being drunk, too. "Bella, what's Simon's middle name?" _Crap, what's his middle name? _If I had a son, what would his middle name be?

"It's Gordon," I answered, trying not to make it sound like a question. He was quiet.

"I guess you're finally awake now," he sighed. "Okay, we're almost there." He hung up with a click. I blinked in confusion and surprise, then set the phone back in the cradle.

Why was I so afraid of not knowing Simon's middle name when this was obviously a prank? Or… a dream. "Wake up!" I muttered to myself, swinging my hand towards my face. It stopped a few inches away. I groaned- I couldn't even slap myself. "Sissy." I scrambled through the silverware drawer (that, of all things, had remained the same) and extricated a long-tined fork. I held it firmly above my outstretched forearm before driving it straight into my skin. "HOLY-"

"Bella?" said Edward concernedly. He was standing in the doorway, his hand on the shoulder of what looked like a seven-year-old replica of him.

"-ghost," I improvised, adding to my exclamation and quickly crossing myself.

"You shout when you pray?" he said, raising an eyebrow.

"That way God can hear me," I said slowly.

"Why are you bleeding?" I saw him chewing on his lip and wondered how much the blood was bothering him.

"Huge horsefly just bit me… and flew out the window," I lied inventively. I knew I was a terrible liar, but he seemed to be buying it, or at least not pressing for the truth. "That's why I was praying."

"Over a fly?"

"Simon!" I ignored him and crouched down in front of the boy.

"Hi, Mom," he mumbled to the floor.

"Well," said Edward, "Goodbye, Simon. I love you." He smiled warmly and then looked back up at me. His warm look disintegrated. "See you next week, Bella." I grimaced and watched him leave before looking back at Simon. He looked just like Edward, but with my eyes, and he had the cutest gap between his two front teeth.

"Okay, Simon, we're going to play a game," I said, lifting him up and setting him on the counter. "You're going to tell me _everything _you know about … Mommy, 'kay?" He nodded.

"You have pretty hair," he said.

"Sweetie, I have a mirror. I meant, what do you know about Mommy's life?"

"Um… you don't like Daddy."

"That's not true," I frowned. "I love your father."

"Oh." He looked confused. Suddenly, he hopped off the counter and walked towards the back of the house.

"Simon, where are you going?" I called.

"Bathroom!" he said. I sighed and banged my head against the wall. This wasn't a joke. This wasn't a dream. Some way or another, in one night Edward Cullen had gone from being my husband to being my baby daddy.


End file.
